Five Rules for Co-Habitating with Your Parents
When your egomaniacal boss lays you off, and you subsequently decide that it’s time for you to take the proverbial time-out, you may consider a number of serious lifestyle changes. For some, that may mean spending a couple days relaxing seaside, or taking the boat out for a spin while you regroup. For others, it might mean kicking back with a good book while you decide what new directions to take or what new dreams to pursue. For me, it meant hitting the road with my girlfriends for a couple weeks to camp, drinking excessive amounts of alcohol, escaping to an island in Panama to surf, and finally… moving back in with my parents in Michigan. Mostly because after all that traveling and drinking, I’d spent a significant amount of money…
So, I bought a plane ticket, parked my car in a friend’s driveway, and drank six beers in the airport before I moved 2,200 miles east of my favorite ocean.
I’ve only been back for a week, but I think I’ve really come to an understanding about how best to handle the post-collegiate move back to your parent’s house.
1.) Don’t move back in with your parents.
If it can at all be avoided, you should not move back in with your parents. I moved here because I was living on a friend’s couch and found it exceedingly difficult to find time and quiet and motivation enough to write. Which is what I need to be doing. But if you can live on a friend’s couch and follow your dream, then do it… It’s a much better route. You’ll skip the conversation with your hyper-conservative parents about why you’re suddenly agnostic, or why you don’t want to drive a truck for FedEx. [By the way, according to my mother, "Because I went to college." is not an acceptable answer to that particular question.]
2.) If you have to break rule #1, create your own space. Immediately.
My parents did me a massive favor. Since my little brother is off at college, they gave me his taj majol of a bedroom complete with an office in the front. My first apartment was smaller than this space. It’s got its own bathroom, a walk-in closet, a television nook, and this hideout that I am currently using to spread my word wealth. I know at some point, this space will keep me sane. Obviously, not everyone will have this sort of situation. But if my parents hadn’t made my brother give me his room, I would have probably converted the basement into my own writer’s lounge. Whatever you do, find a place to escape when you need to. Because you’ll definitely need to.
3.) Find something to mark your days.
Unemployment is a weird beast. It’s strange how slow a week goes by when you’re writing content for other people, or developing online marketing strategies … or whatever your job may be. But when you find yourself without that 8-hour purpose everyday, the immediate temptation is to sleep in to 11, spend an entire afternoon watching NCIS with your mother, and close out your day by stalking your college boyfriend on facebook. And then the week is suddenly over and you’ve accomplished nothing on your bucket list. I’ve decided to make sure I walk everyday for at least an hour, blog, and compost my ideas for the novel that I’m allegedly working on. And, I’ve got a chart that helps me keep track of whether or not I’ve done these things everyday. Okay, so this is admittedly nerdy… But if I wasn’t paying attention, I would waste all my time here reading Tom Robbins or perusing the internet for ways to covertly destroy my previous employer.
4.) Get a hobby.
In addition to my daily “requirements,” I also brought my guitar home with me. I never really got a chance to play it when I was in San Diego… and I believe it’s a great way for me to burn off some stress. Take up knitting. Join an adult soccer team. Volunteer for something… Whatever you do, don’t sit around, because if you do, you’ll instantly be recruited to paint the guest bedroom or re-seal the driveway. [I've been asked to do both of these things. Not a joke.]
5.) Find some friends that are not your mom.
This is not a rule I’ve actually followed yet… Well, if you don’t count the betta fish that I bought at Meijer the other day. I know eventually I will want to grab a beer with a girlfriend or talk about the progress of my novel with someone who isn’t genetically required to love anything I create. However, this is not the kind of town where people in their 20s choose to live. This will probably take some serious effort on my part. I’m honestly not sure I’m up to the challenge.
[...] situations I’ve floundered in to be mostly hilarious. Even the earth-shattering moments like moving away from the ocean to co-habitate with my parents, or losing my job while I was living out of my car have provided a giggle or two in retrospect. And [...]
Happy in the Mitten « Stories from the Road said this on May 12, 2010 at 11:15 pm |